Irrational Fear
by DropThePhone
Summary: Rachel could be crazy, but Quinn would never complain.


Irrational Fear

Yes perhaps she was being an idiot, but you know what? It sure beat being chopped in half by a deranged Japanese housewife.

"Quinn, hello? Quinn?"

"Berry, this better be good."

"This is far from good. This is atrociously terrifying. I've recently acquired knowledge of a Japanese woman that kidnaps children and slices them to pieces if they give any type of negative criticism to her facial features."

Quinn murmured into the phone, grumbling about stupid Youtube copyright infringements.

"Are you talking about that Japanese horror film with a plot like Swiss cheese?" There wasn't a response, which Quinn took as a complete and total victory. Who else could get Rachel Berry to actually stop talking?

"What have I told you about watching foreign movies?" Rachel pouted petulantly, picking at the invisible chip on the bathroom sink.

"That they bring nothing but fear and sleep spasms."

"Exactly, so why are you calling me?" Rachel's pout deepened.

"Because I didn't listen to you."

"Good, now will you ever be doing that again?"

"No, I won't, never will I subject myself to this torture twice." Quinn hummed, obviously satisfied with her obedience.

"Now get out of my bathroom and come get into bed with me." Rachel quietly into the phone, feeling ridiculously giddy. Quinn had never allowed her to take residence in the same bed as her at any of their sleepovers. In order to claim her prize . . . all she had to do was make it to the bedroom without encountering a Japanese house wife wearing a surgical mask and a trench coat.

"Rachel," Quinn breathed into the phone.

"Come on, nobody is in here but you and I. If anybody managed to break in, my security system would have scared the crap out of them." Rachel's spine tingled at her past encounter with that . . . monster. Although, it could hit a high F. Rachel bobbed her head, she was perfectly safe.

"Of course, I'm being ridiculous."

Quinn puffed her out her breath dramatically.

"This is what I get for being friends with a grade schooler."

"Oh, how original. More cracks about my height, why don't you also make fun of my homosexual parents? I'll preserve my argument about age and maturity for another day, as my oral talents have been mussed by my lack of sleep." Quinn snickered.

"What? Oh, wait . . . Quinn that's highly inappropriate." Rachel halted, gazing up at the poster of Justin Timberlake glued to Quinn's door. She was going to have a word with Quinn about this right after her age debate.

"Alright, whatever Rupaul, just get inside before I change my mind. Don't _Push It._" The brunette huffed, clicking off her phone and pushing open the door.

"I'm flattered you consider me royalty. While I am very _regal_, I am no Queen. I'm all Berry, and that _Push It_ performance . . . definitely not one of my better days." She was met with an unimpressed eyebrow, something that had her trembling in an extremely confusing way. Rachel tried her best to ignore it, trampling onto the bed with as much grace and dignity as Finn on Sloppy Joe Wednesday.

"Do you want me to . . . put some sort of divider between us?"

"If I wanted anything between us, I wouldn't have told you to sleep in my room."

"Ah, well I just want to make sure you know what you're agreeing to. I'm a sleep roller."

"What the heck is a sleep roller Berry?"

"I find it fairly obvious." Quinn's eyes slid closed as she rolled onto her side to face the insufferable brunette.

"Well I don't. C'mon, I thought you liked talking?"

"You know, I've never noticed how pretty you look when you're annoyed." Quinn's eyes were wide open.

"I guess it is kind of hard to see things when you've got grape slushy in your eyes."

"Aw, I can't believe you remembered the flavor. I would always wonder why it was never cherry."

"Grape's your favorite, that's why. It was my way of making up for the slushy."

"How exactly did you find out?"

"I found out the second you licked your lips the first time I splashed you with one." Her eyes flicked down to those same lips.

"I thought I was being discreet."

"Please, you can't be discreet. You're Rachel Barbra Berry, the giant gold star everyone wants to . . . pull out of the sky, and maybe _sometimes _keep all to themselves."

"I'm flattered you feel this way, I just wish when we were younger you hadn't expressed it by throwing frozen beverages in my face. I knew giving you those oatmeal cookies earlier would help."

"The baby likes them."

"Does the baby also like me?" Hazel easily met brown, a genuine smile on Quinn's face.

"Of course she does. She kind of loves you, but like, you don't have to love her back or anything, I'm just saying, y'know?" She rushed out breathlessly, closing her eyes and preparing herself for the giggles.

"Well, I sincerely hope we're talking about the same baby." She opened them once more, greeted by completely unapologetic brown eyes.

"Are you calling me a baby?"

"I recall you stating it first." Rachel slid closer, wrapping her arms around the suddenly nervous girl.

"I think someone has a little irrational fear about expressing themselves without verbally assaulting." Quinn breathed deeply, her nose twitching once at the smell she caught.

"You smell like ham." Quinn shoved her away.

"What the hell Berry? Why do you smell like ham? Aren't you a vegan?" Rachel frowned.

"I can't believe you just ruined that moment. We were supposed to share a romantic kiss, and then skip off into the moonlight."

"Wow, okay, did you really expect me to get out of bed just to skip off into the moonlight with you? I'm pregnant, how inconsiderate can you get?" Rachel retained her unapologetic expression, a small grin even gracing her lips. Quinn's eyebrow grew taller.

"But more importantly, you were going to kiss me?"

"Well, after your very articulate expression of love for me, I thought it was an implied epilogue."

"Had it ever crossed your mind that maybe I platonically love you?" The diva's crestfallen eyes had Quinn mentally slapping herself. Why did she even say anything? She just ruined her chance of ever getting at least a kiss on the cheek from the little diva.

"Well, fine, never mind then."

"You don't have to turn over."

" . . . Rachel?"

"Don't touch me!"

"You didn't seem to mind last night."

". . . what?"

"Sorry, I've just always wanted to say that. Wow, you're really rubbing off on me."

"I wish it were more ways than one." Quinn's mind blanked for 1.5 seconds.

"Didn't you just say that _I_ was being inappropriate?"

"Can we just sleep now?"

"Fine, fine, whatever. Just wait a second." She leaned over the bed, pecking Rachel on the cheek. Her lips resting close to her ear, she whispered.

"I won't jump out of my two story balcony to skip into the moonlight with you, but I won't object to kissing you at all."

...

AN: Can you count the many unanswered questions?


End file.
